Ayn Rand FACTS

Mustaches, continued

Thu, 30 May 2013 16:48:21 -0500

Though to be fair, she could rock a pretty good Charlie Chaplin when she let it get out of hand.

Mustaches

Thu, 30 May 2013 14:16:00 -0500

Ms. Rand had problems with mustache hair. This is probably not one of the many things she should be judged for.

Binders?

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 21:46:00 -0500

Ayn Rand also had binders full of women. And yes, they were as gross as that sounds.

Ayn Rand never molested anyone. After all, to molest someone would mean forcing someone to do...

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 17:20:00 -0500

Ayn Rand never molested anyone.

After all, to molest someone would mean forcing someone to do something they didn’t want, which Ms. Rand was strictly opposed to. Also, being the ultra-rational person she was, Ms. Rand understood that he always wanted it.

A More Recent* Rand Quote about Hickman

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:55:05 -0500

After a 212-year-long contemplative period in which Ms. Rand was held captive by a socialist hive-mind race of intelligent sponges, Ms. Rand said of Hickman,

“Its a shame he was not allowed to flower. Just think how accelerated my studies might have been if he had surpassed Optimal Producer Level One! I might have learned how to astral project out of those damn squishes’s** force cages in only 100 or so years!”

* ‘Recent’ being a loaded term, since, as previously mentioned, time travel is tricky.

** “Squishes” was Rand’s own derogatory term for the aforementioned sponges.

Seriously, not racist. Let it go...

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 14:00:57 -0500

“If you mean whose side one should be on, Israel or the Arabs, I would certainly say Israel because it’s the advanced, technological, civilized country amidst a group of almost totally primitive savages who have not changed for years and who are racist and who resent Israel because it’s bringing industry, intelligence, and modern technology into their stagnation.”

—Q and A session during taping of Donohue, Live in New York, 1979

Whatever your position on the whole Israel/Palestine quagmire, can’t we all agree that Rand was merely putting the conflict in the proper context? Religion or land isn’t the issue, its the introduction of technology and intelligence into the region, right?

Wait, what? We can’t all agree on that? No, it can’ be horsesh—, Ayn Rand said it!

Hickman and Objectivism

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 13:49:46 -0500

Unfortunately for Ms. Rand, Hickman was caught before he had the chance to develop further. However, Rand’s study of Hickman did lead to her discovery of the Optimal Producer levels of Objectivistism.

In particular, upon achieving Optimal Producer Level One a person becomes a “superman” with the inability to “realize and feel ‘other people.’ “

Ms. Rand's First Crush

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 13:53:00 -0500

William Edward Hickman may have had his flaws, but Ms. Rand saw no reason to let those flaws overshadow his positive qualities.

After all, as Rand said:

“Other people do not exist for him, and he does not see why they should.”

Plus, he had

“no regard whatsoever for all that society holds sacred, and with a consciousness all his own. He has the true, innate psychology of a Superman. He can never realize and feel ‘other people.’”

—From the personal journal of Ayn Rand

Don’t such great moral strengths surpass any little peccadilloes?

So what if he dismembered a 12 year old girl and littered the roadside with her body parts? Much like it is easy to blend Rand’s belief’s with religion, Ms. Rand saw no problem recognizing the true worth of this “brilliant, unusual, exceptional boy,” who was so chock full of “immense, explicit egotism.”

So what if she took Social Security?

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 13:54:00 -0500

Its ok to take government handouts, as long as you don’t like to do it. Its all those poor old people who gladly take social security who are horrible moochers.

Also, to be fair, when Ms. Rand took social security her lawyer told her that the only money she received was via a loophole that let her take it from all the people she had beat up over the years.

As for that newly prominent political figure...

Thu, 16 Aug 2012 13:55:00 -0500

His rejection by Ms. Rand and the Rail Org was especially hurtful and hard to get over. Rejection by Eighth Grade crushes always are.

Of course, he claims he isn’t that into her anyway, because he was too busy with his church, but we all know that is just an excuse to make himself feel better.

In the news again!

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 14:32:29 -0500

Despite all the interest in Ayn Rand and lately, you likely will not hear anything about the Rail Org from the mainstream media. This is for two reasons:

1) Because of a liberal socialist conspiracy by the media to keep the true awesomeness of Ms. Rand’s accomplishments secret (they’re still bitter because if the past ten years have taught us anything, it is that her ideas are more awesome and she won), and

2) A certain newly prominent political figure has refused to acknowledge the Rail Org ever since he was denied membership (or even visiting privileges!) due to not being awesome enough.

But what about the Sequels?

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 13:57:00 -0500

Originally Jason Voorhees was not even supposed to be the villain of the Friday the 13th sequels. As a consolation for cutting her from the first film, the producers originally planned for Ms. Rand to play the undead, resurrected Mrs. Voorhees. Due to her lung cancer she was not available for the first sequel however.

Not wanting to admit that she had actually changed her mind about taking the role in the first place, Ms. Rand faked her own death in 1982 rather than risk the chance that Paramount might ask her to join in any of the subsequent sequels.

Speaking of horror movies...

Sat, 11 Aug 2012 13:59:20 -0500

Ayn Rand was originally slated to play Pamela Voorhees in the original Friday the 13th. Luckily for Ms. Rand, who was having second thoughts after accepting the role, the producers changed their mind, as they thought she might be too terrifying and thus give up the twist too early in the movie.

Sorry for the hiatus, but there is a lesson to be learned...

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 15:44:06 -0500

Ayn Rand is like a bad horror movie. She always comes back. No matter how stupid things get when you extrapolate and drag out her themes and concepts.

At a cocktail party someone repeated the previously mentioned Dorothy Parker quote, but no one could...

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 13:58:17 -0500

At a cocktail party someone repeated the previously mentioned Dorothy Parker quote, but no one could remember to whom to attribute it. Everyone laughed but Ms. Rand, who could not remember her awesome comeback, and before long the conversation moved on.

“O’Connor!” Ms. Rand muttered to herself a few minutes later. This tic was often noticed after unattributed criticism.

The woman who repeated the quote was never seen again.

How to take criticism

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 13:53:48 -0500

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

-Dorothy Parker, in reference to Atlas Shrugged.

“Yeah, at you!” Ms. Rand was heard to reply. Her friends all told her that it was a very witty comeback.

"I'll show them; that damn quote make any sense when I'm done with it!"

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 13:59:04 -0500

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves Orcs.”

-John Rogers

Ms. Rand was quite incensed after reading the above quote (they do get the internet high above the Earth on the Rail Org, just so you know).

In response, she is currently working on a sequel tentatively titled “Galt Alone.” It will include the big twist that all the moochers and looters referenced in Atlas Shrugged were in fact literal goblins.

A couple of things to point out: 1) That ‘bwwoooom’...

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 13:59:11 -0500

A couple of things to point out:

1) That ‘bwwoooom’ sound they stole from the Inception trailer is an approximation of the sound made when one time travels using Objectivist principles. It’s nice to see they left that stuff in.

2) It is also nice to see that they appear to have returned to the novel’s horror roots, an element not made clear enough in the first film. Though I’m not sure vampire apocalypse was the way to go. That scary lady’s gonna get you!

A Mysterious Tic

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 14:00:01 -0500

Ms. Rand had a habit of clenching her fist and muttering “O’Connor!” to herself.

Maybe her husband left the toilet seat up a lot or something. Of course, she preferred not to use his real last name, so who knows?

Another quote

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 13:54:56 -0500

“A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”

—Ayn Rand

Ms. Rand then added,

“The beatings are just the fun part, not the motivation.”